(7-minute read) – I wanted to know more about what life means, what the purpose is, where our sense of self comes from and how it ends? So, I studied a lot – science, theology and philosophy.
The irony is, to know more about these profound subjects, we must be prepared to know less.
To know more we must know less
We must be prepared to let go of what we already know. We must be intent upon letting go of our programmed thoughts.
Letting go of the thoughts that we are used to is not easy. We are used to thinking – it is the natural state of our brains. And there will always be times to think and analyse.
I needed a technique to help me let go. I needed a technique to help focus my intention. The technique I found is meditation. The details of the specific form of meditation are not important.
Meditation is simply a practice of intention. It is a mantra, a sacred word, a mindful activity or a state of being that expresses an intention to let go. An intention to let go is exactly the same as an intention for silence of the mind.
The nature of the universe is aligned with our intentions. Or, to put it another way, some might say, God is loving. So where there is intention, there are subtle results – subtle ‘gifts’. In this case, the gift is moments of silence of the mind, free from thought programs.
And in the moments of silence, a different perception of self emerges.
A different perception of self
This different perception has been called many names. I like the names ‘true self’ and ‘mystical union’. ‘True self’ because there is a sense of a deeper, enduring, more real dimension to who we are; and ‘mystical union’ because of the unfathomable sense of oneness and connectedness.
Letting go of our thought programs, including our reactions in response to random inputs during the day, requires a daily practice of meditation – or a daily expression of intention.
The divine therapist’s prescription: spend time with true self to see beyond the programmed responses of false self.
Good meditation is not an activity or an effort. It should not be judged by the presence or absence of thought. Rather it is merely the repetition of an intention. By repeating the intention we are continually turning gently away from the river of thoughts and emotions that hold us captive. But the focus is not on stopping the thoughts. It is on the intention.
Thomas Keating
The mystic, Thomas Keating, describes meditation as like lying under water.
Picture yourself lying on your back on the bottom of deep, slow-flowing water. As you look up towards the surface of the water far above you, you see objects floating by. There are boats, people and fish. They float into your field of vision, move across and float out of sight on the opposite side.
Lying on the bottom, you have no desire to reach out and touch the objects. Although you are aware of their presence they do not penetrate your space or touch your peace. You are completely content on the riverbed and unattached to the objects in the life above you. You let the flow of life, the flow of thoughts carry on without any attachment or desires.
During meditation we are conscious of our thoughts as if watching them from a distance. We don’t latch on to thoughts, or become involved in implications and conclusions, but simply leave them alone and let them pass as we return to the simple intention.
Letting go is not easy and never fully achieved
We usually have important thoughts that we need to diarise or act on. For example, five or ten minutes after sitting down to meditate you might suddenly realise that earlier in the day you forgot an important meeting. Realising that you missed the meeting immediately causes you anxiety. Your habit is to start thinking of how to minimise the damage, how to make up for your mistake, what your boss will say, what the financial implications of lost business will be, or where you will live when they take your house away.
Or, you may be sitting calmly, when suddenly the girl at work with the beautiful legs who’s been smiling at you a lot lately comes into your mind. Your desire is to think about her a little bit longer. Or maybe it’s the man with the kind eyes that possesses your mind.
The thoughts of your world, positive or negative, are linked to the thoughts of your programming and so run-away thought activity quickly ensues.
As gentle as a feather falling on a pillow
As soon as you become consumed by your thoughts – as soon as you become fixated on them – you are being yanked away from the true self and mystical union. The silent void is filled and there is no space left for the mind of the universe to penetrate your mind. So, patiently, you must repeat your intention… again and again, gently and faithfully.
Letting go during meditation is a discipline only in the sense that it requires patient repetition.
Letting go is not a discipline in the sense of fighting forcefully to get our minds into a straight line by strict command. Trying to coerce our brains cannot succeed. It is a de-energising, fruitless and destructive exercise in the long run.
Our progress should be a far gentler and more modest affair. I once heard the process of letting go described as being as gentle as a feather falling on a pillow.
It’s so gentle because all we have to do is decide that we want to let go; decide that we want to take the journey to knowing more, to connecting more, to loving more. All we have to do each time we feel ourselves attaching to an old habit or thought pattern is gently reaffirm our intention to let go.
Nothing else, just gently repeat the intention. Don’t force anything or get frustrated about not being able to let go of certain things. Trust the word of millions of mystics – you will be changed.
This is difficult for modern humanists
Our western culture teaches us to go after what we want, to fight hard, and powerfully resist anything that stands in our way. We deserve it, afterall!
The way of meditation, is not to expect nor resist. It is to let go of all demands and expectations of how life, or our meditation session, should be. And then make peace with the way things are. It is to willingly put ourselves in the flow of the universe – in the light of love – and receive its gifts, whatever they may be.
Persistent, worrying or upsetting thoughts, or long-held beliefs will never be driven out of our consciousness. They thrive on our false-self’s attempts at control. The harder we push to banish them, the more anchored they are. This is because we become more obsessed with them.
You do not necessarily need to be experiencing private insights, visionary breakthroughs or raptures of peace and enlightenment during meditation. Nor even any comfort at all for long times. It is a misnomer to say that good meditation necessarily leads to levitations, trances or any other radically altered physical states.
What good meditation does is change the way we think, feel and act in living. The benefits manifest themselves in life outside of the time spent meditating. Mystical union occurs in the way the unknown mystery would have it, which is not necessarily how you imagine.
Let go of meditation too
So, during your meditations, don’t focus on what’s happening to you or how well you’re doing as a mystic. Don’t look for or expect any magical or miraculous experiences. Simply keep declaring your intention to let go with trust.
During meditation itself, the effects of love occur in a cloud of unknowing. The effects occur in unknown mystery. Accept this. Want this. That is the nature of letting go – accepting that you don’t know and feeling that’s okay because you trust. To want to know is desire of the false-self. So, don’t be misled by your false-self, your ego. Don’t try to measure, define or capture the nature of the emptiness.
Trust that in unknowing, you will know.
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