Daily Meditation

(4-minute read) – Daily meditation helps us react appropriately to this aggressive world. At the same time, daily meditation makes us more sensitive to the aggression.

I was reminded of these truths recently.

I was driving to the Mindmark Retreat Centre. It was a lovely spring morning. The radio was switched off so I could take in the beauty around me. I had been meditating twice daily and felt very peaceful and connected.

My peace was shattered when the neighbour of Mindmark phoned and said, “There’s trouble here. One of your workers attacked one of my workers with a panga. I’ve called the police.”

I told him, “I’ll be there in twenty minutes.” My stomach turned.

Alfred is not right

I arrived at the gate. My neighbour and two of his farm labourers were standing across the road from the Mindmark property. One of my labourers stood just inside my fence with a panga in his hand. A familiar blue and white police van pulled up in front of my neighbour. They talked.

I entered my property, ignored the man with the panga, and talked to two other labourers who had come to meet me. “What happened here?”

“Alfred is not right,” they said pointing at the man with the panga. They proceeded to explain that there had been an altercation over money. But, they said lately he had threatened them as well any time there was the slightest disagreement. Apparently he had a short temper and was quick to brandish the panga. I had only recently bought the Mindmark Centre. I was quite surprised because I thought Alfred was a calm, quiet person.

But looking at him standing there with that sharp, steel weapon, and listening to what I was hearing from his colleagues, I made up my mind. Alfred had to go. I could feel his aggression and I didn’t want it tainting that peaceful land. I certainly didn’t want the threat of violence under any circumstance.

An aggressive situation

The two police officers were standing on the outside of my fence talking to him. They called me over and informed me, “Alfred grabbed a man from behind and put the panga to his throat, threatening to kill him. He still wants to fight with us as well. So we are arresting him.”

I stood two metres from a man I hardly knew with a panga in his hand. My heart was pounding as I half expected him to go for me. I simply murmured, “Okay.”

I decided to make my way to the other side of the fence. After a while Alfred followed. He still had the panga in his hand as he approached the police van and the rest of us. About half an hour of debate followed in various languages.

They tried to get him to apologise and explained they wouldn’t press charges if he would just promise to simmer down. I never got the full reason for the altercation, but Alfred wanted nothing to do with reconciliation.

The interrogation

Eventually one of the policemen stealthily disarmed him. He climbed into the back of the van. I paid him and told him not to come back. I tried to explain that under no circumstances could I tolerate violence. But I don’t know if he understood.

As the van pulled away, I started my internal interrogation of whether I’d done the right thing.

The aggression of that day sucked at my soul like a parasite. The unpleasant parting with Alfred left a pain in my chest. My fortress of peace came crashing down and it took a long time for me to return to that place.

I had experienced aggression and violence of this nature before. I always disliked it, but it never seemed to be so upsetting. Why was I effected so profoundly this time?

Years of meditation had changed my baseline. My baseline is peace and love these days. Aggression is like a murderous thief in the night to my soul. It is tremendously upsetting.

I did not want to deal with something like that day again. In fact I wanted to find a place of peace and quiet, surrounded by security and love, and never leave. But that is idealistic for anyone living in the real world. Our world is a violent and aggressive place. We are forced to deal with these dark forces and their resultant emotional impact on us.

Sometimes, it may be tempting to fall in with the platoons of aggressors and fight back as good as we get. Or, we may want to retreat and hide behind fortress walls to guard our personal peace no matter what.

Daily meditation leads to mindfulness

The solution is to be mindful and react appropriately to the world. Neither of the above extremes are mindful options.

Daily meditation leads to mindfulness. One thing I knew for sure, to cope with that day at the Mindmark Retreat Centre, I had to meditate. I meditated a lot the following few days, even though I felt no consolation at all. The darkness of Alfred blocked out the light. I persevered patiently and faithfully.

Gradually, I let go of the angst and peace returned.

But it will never be all peace. Because today or tomorrow, sooner or later, violence and aggression will cross my path again. As it will all of ours.

Daily meditation increases our sensitivity to violence and aggression and it increases our sensitivity to their effects within us. Increase in sensitivity is mindfulness. Sometimes it is difficult to deal with this increased sensitivity. But we must if we are to continue on the spiritual journey.

The alternative is to de-sensitise ourselves. To take the easy, unconscious way. We can allow our base instincts to rule without contemplation. It is easier to react automatically with aggression or retreat into isolation. These extremes do not require thought, nor interrogation of self, nor the courage to deal with the murderous thief in the night.

It was impossible for me to take either of these options that day, because meditation had led me too far down the path of mindfulness. There was no escaping the affront of Alfred and the impact of aggression.

And when the pain of my sensitivity was almost unbearable, it was sweet meditation that let me recover in love’s embrace. Sweet daily meditation. Again and again, my old friend.